Do people really get it?

I have to wonder if people really understand what its like to have ME. I get that its not easy, I do but is it really that hard to understand?

When I sit and really think about it, it probably is that hard to understand. People can look at me and forget that i'm ill. Well at least for a few hours. After that the fatigue and whatever other symptoms I have that day kick in with a vengeance, my dark under eye circles start to show through my concealer and I start zoning in and out of conversations. Thats when they remember.
But even then, only my parents really see what happens after that. Like going out to lunch for a few hours... then coming home and falling asleep because theres no energy left to keep my body awake and functioning. Or the days when I barely say more than a few sentences to them because my brain isn't working and I cant hold a conversation, or because I simply don't have the energy to spare.

 Your brain uses 20% of you energy a day to just work, for you normal people that doesn't really matter as you have another 80% for any and everything els your body needs to do. Recent tests I have done have shown that my body runs on 34%. Think about that for a second. 20% of that goes to my brain, leaving only 14% for my body, for everything els. For walking up and down the stairs, for having to stand up in the shower and wash my hair, for every internal biological process needed to keep you alive.

Can you understand now why we cant do all the things you can do? Like if I shower and wash my hair, I cant leave the house the same day without overdoing it. Or that leaving the house two days in a row is a BIG thing! Why I haven't learnt to drive yet, or had to stop my education.

Being chronically ill is hard. Most of the time it sucks.

BUT... Being ill has given me a different perspective on the world. Its made me more positive and it has made me a thousand times stronger because of everything i have been through .

Yes, I may have days were I cant move because of the pain or cant see the people I love because of the fatigue. BUT there are people worse off than me. I have a beautiful home, an incredible family and my friends are some of the loveliest and supportive people on the planet (online spoonie friends included!).

Being chronically ill has taught me that the world is a beautiful place, filled with incredible wonders and amazing people.

So, please do not judge a book by its cover, human beings are more than what you see.

Love to all

- Jess

I Hate the word Diet

Firstly, I hate the word diet.

 Diet implies that we are looking for a quick fix to to loose weight and we do that by making a temporary change to the food that we put inside our bodies. Thats not what this post is about. I'm not about to give you a new diet thats guaranteed to make you loose a stone in a week. ( and for those of you who have found a diet promising this, DON'T LISEN)

Over the coming months I'm going to share with you some food and diet related information that has really helped me and changes the way i eat and think about food.

Almost every woman (and man) has been on a diet in their life. If we are being honest, probably more than one. And the question everyone want to know is 'Do they work?'. Some/ usually the most extreme do result in weight loss that can, in some cases, be very dramatic. But only for the pounds to creep back on at the end of the diet. The only way to lose weight healthily and to keep it off is to make permanent changes to the way you eat.

 I'm not an expert, i don't have any qualifications or training, so feel free to ignore everything i say. But! Please don't forget everything i say. For some people out there, what i'm talking about might help, so please read.

Recently, within the past 6 months, my every day diet has changed a lot. This isn't because i was trying to loose weight, this is because it was medically necessary. As many of you guys reading know i have a chronic illness called ME/CFS. For those of you who don't know what that is, or do know but don't know many details please click here  to read about it from a very talented lady called Meg.
 The doctors i have recently seen have said that cutting certain things out of my diet could potentially really help me.

Sooo.... I have cut out Dairy, Gluten and refined sugar! Thats right, no more chocolate!

So over the coming months i will be sharing with you my journey, experiences with new foods and some of the best recipes I have found and created that not only taste great but are supper fricking healthy for you!

so stay tuned lovely humans

Love and spoons

- Jess

ME-Awareness week

This week ( 11th - 17th) has been ME- awareness week.

And i just want to say how proud i am of all my spoonie sibling for all that they have done this week. A but load of money has been raised and a huge amount of awareness!

I'm not going to say anything about ME on this post because i don't feel that i need to. So many of the wonderful women who i look up to have done blog post on ME this week and honestly i don't think i could come close to the great work they have done so all i am going to do is link in their blog posts ( and Instagram accounts) for you to take a look at if you want to know a bit more about the invisible Illness me and many others suffer from.

1. Hayley-Eszti Szucs (IG: @hayley_eszti )

2. Meg says (IG: @megsays_ )

3. Lennae Stubbs (IG: @lennaesworld )

4. Christine Miserandino (IG: @butyoudontlooksick )

5. Anna Jones (IG: @indy_annaj )

I just want to point out that this is just a handful of the blog post that have been done by some incredibly inspiring people.

I really hope you take to time to read at least one.

Love

- Jess

I'm Back!

Hi Lovely people

 I know it has been a while since i have blogged and for that i am sorry. A lot has been happening in my life and that has sucked up all my energy leaving none for blogging.

For a month or two after my last post everything was fine health wise, i was just completely swamped with A-levels and had no energy left over :(

And then a few weeks before Easter i went down like a tone of bricks. and unfortunately i haven't really improved since then. I have had to make the difficult decision (again :( ) to not do my exams this year as i don't think i could even sit in the room for two hours let lone actually do the exam.

And because of this i have decided to take a break from my education for a while and focus on my health and happiness.

Another thing that has happened is i have gotten some new info on my health!
a few months ago i had some blood tests done to test the mitochondria in my cells. ( this is the part of your cells that makes the energy for your entire body) and we got some interesting results back. I believe my response was
 " My body is F****d up"

Because of this i have had to change my diet dramatically (for a start) and that has meant a lot of readjustment. I haven't had chocolate in months!

I plan on doing a more detailed post on my diet soon, as otherwise this would be an incredibly long post.

But getting back to the point, i now have a lot more time on my hands that isn't being taken up by school work so hopefully that will mean a will be blogging more regularly.

Lots of love

- Jess

Urban Decay Naked On The Run Palette - Review

 THis is a LIMITED-EDITION, Urban Decay Naked palette. 

Lets get the details out of the way first.

It includes : six ALL-NEW shades of Eyeshadow. Bronzer. Blush. A full-size Naked Ultra Nourishing Lipgloss and a travel-size 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil (both new shades), plus a travel-size Perversion Mascara. 

More details
Eyeshadows:
Dive (metallic rose w/golden micro-shimmer), 

Fix (soft taupe matte)

Resist (medium metallic taupe)

Dare (medium brown matte)

Stun(metallic bronze w/light gold micro-shimmer) 

5050 (cool bisque satin). 
Bronzer: medium bronze matte. 
Blush: vibrant pink w/light shimmer. 
Perversion Mascara: blackest black. 
24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil: Stag (deep brown satin). 
Naked Lipgloss: Sesso (rose w/pink shimmer).

If you want to know the ingredients to any of the products in this palette please click here. 

I am lucky enough to have the Naked Basics palette (love it) but I don't own any of the others, even though I am slightly obsessed. So when I came across this (whilst looking to see if the other palettes were in the sale) I got extremely excited. Not only have I been lusting after their eyeshadows but also their lipglosses (after seeing several youtubers and bloggers talking about them). 

First off I am going to say that the packaging of this is gorgeous, as is all of Urban Decay's Makeup. 

Ok so starting with the mascara: I love it. I also love Benefits they're real mascara but I dont always want such a volumising mascara on a day to day basis, especially on those minimal/natural makeup days. That's why I really like this one. It gives good definition and length to my lashes for a great everyday look. it is quite wet when applying, but I find it dries really well, I rub my eyes alot when im tired ( so pretty much all the time) and find I smudge or even remove a lot of my mascara during the day, as this dries very well I don't have to take as much notice of my eye rubbing when wearing it which is awesome.   


The Bronzer I also really like, i've never used an urban decay bronzer before and i am impressed. its matte, which i prefer to those that contain shimmer. it isn't too dark, and i'm quite pale, so be aware if you have darker skin tones as I believe this palette only come in this shade(no other option).



The eyeliner is a dark brown colour which I personally prefer to black as I find black looks to harsh will my pale skin. I haven't used it much as i'm not really an eyeliner girl but it's handy to have and it is easy to apply. 


The Blush is very pink, which is to be expected as it is described as a vibrant pink. Think it will be perfect for spring and Its got good pigmentation so thats a plus.

OK on to the eyeshadows, starting with my favorites.
1. Dare: I have been loving this shade as it is the perfect colour for my eyebrows! it is a matte brown shade and a great staple colour to have. 
2. Dive: metallic rose gold, need I say more.
 I wont bore you with my opinion of each single one, i will just they are all really nice, with the perfect balance of matte and shimmer shadows. 

Left: Stun, 5050  Right: Dive, Fix, Resist, Dare

And last but not least the lipgloss. I love it. The colour is this beautiful rose pink, with a small amount of gold shimmer that looks lush when the sun catches it.

Over all I am extremely pleased with this palette and will thoroughly enjoy using it for a very long time.

Hope you guys found this helpful/enjoyable/interesting. 

Until next time 

- Jess     

Rant Time

I have recently found two articles from the Guardian and the Daily Telegraph about ME/CFS and they have made me extremely upset and angry.

Link to Article 

"People suffering from ME should get out of bed and exercise if they want to alleviate their condition, a major study by King's College has found."

Link to Article 

I just have to say, Why are they wasting time on studies like this when they could use that money to do research into the cause of this debilitating illness and therefore hopefully find a way to help all of us, maybe even a cure.

"Prof Trudie Chalder, from Kings College London, who led the study, said: “By identifying the mechanisms whereby some patients benefit from treatment, we hope that this will allow treatments to be developed, improved, or optimised."

"Not understanding the exact genesis of a disease did not preclude treating its symptoms, she added."

As I was reading the comments left on the guardians article I found this:

"Trudie Chalder is a professor in the Department of Psychological Medicine, King's College Hospital. She is a psychiatrist."

All I have to say about this is that a Psychiatrist will only look at at an illness in a psychological way as thats what they have been trained to do. ME/CFS is a physical illness so why is a psychiatrist doing studies on it?

Lastly I want to say that as of 2010 ME has been classed as a disability and I am deeply saddened by the lack of credit us sufferers get for dealing with all that we do every day.

So all you ME/CFS sufferers listen up!

You are Fierce. 

You are a survivor. 

You're a Fighter through and through.

 Little Brave , Breathe. 

There is a Warrior within you.

Love to you all 

- Jess

Happy New Year - Plans and Goals for 2015

So its 2015! Oh My Makeup the last year has gone fast.

so its that time of year when people reflect over what they have and haven't done and create their new year resolutions. 

I for one don't think I have had any new year resolutions, ever. Well not that I can remember (#sickchickproblems).

And this year won't be any different. Setting goals is a good thing it keeps you motivated, but my fellow spoonies will know that setting goals with time limits isn't always the best idea.

So this year I'm going to set myself some (hopefully) achievable goals with no significant time limit.

I have to admit I haven't been very consistent with my blogging since I started, and its really starting to get to me. I started this blog so I would have something that was mine, somewhere to talk about the weird stuff running around in my head, somewhere that I could share my experiences and opinions. So this year I am going to do just that, I'm not quite sure how often I will blog, I haven't got that far yet. But I will be doing a beauty product review soon (just waiting for it to be delivered!) and I plan on doing a book review as well so stay tuned!

Another is to improve my diet.

 I'm not unhealthy but lately I have been eating more and more junk and I am feeling bloated and very unhealthy and half of my jeans don't fit and that just makes me sad. So that needs to change. So fruit and veggies for me.

I hope all of you have had a fantastic Christmas and have a wonderful new year. 

Have any of you got any goals/resolutions for the new year? Or any nice plans you're looking forward to? please comment and share xxx

i think this should be one of every ones 

stay lovely 

- Jess